(btw, im sorry this is soo long, i just had to put it all in. please read it anyway)
i need a way to get rid of this anxiety. i have to present for class tomorrow, and i am very bad at acting, which is what i have to do. i am freaking out because my skit is very bad and does not reach the requirements, but my group thinks its fine so im not allowed to change it, and i suck sooooo badly at acting (did i not mention that?), and any time i present i almost faint. i need a way to get over this by tomorrow, meaning no medication or anything like that.
this happens often to me though. this is not the first time. i have anxiety every time i find out i have to present to the class. once i find out about it, that’s all i can think of until the time comes. and even after i present, the anxiety still does not go away. it takes until at least next class to get over it. usually someone else messing up and getting laughed at is what calms me. i know that sounds kinda mean, but its what helps me.
i tend to have panic attacks often too. normally i get them while trying to do my homework. i have some difficulties in my school work, and because of the economic issue, my both my parents tend to be working all day and most nights (which can’t be good for them either) so i have no one to help me with my homework. if i do have someone to help me, it is usually my mom, but she makes the panic attacks worse because she tends to freak out and yell at me for the fact that i am having a panic attack. my teachers give a crazy amount of homework every night, and often you can find my still up at midnight doing it. i don’t stay up that late because i didn’t start it earlier. i normally start it at around four o’clock.
i have anxiety especially during my spanish class. for some reason, i always feel like im going to be called on and not know the answer, or forget how to pronounce simple things like "hola".
i only really get panic attacks or bad anxiety while im at home. like i said, while im doing my homework. at school, while im in class, i tend to just get very jittery, not have a full blown panic attack. sometimes if my mom sees im having large difficulties with my homework, she tells me to just not do the rest and tell my teacher that it simply took me too long and that i was having major difficulties. when she tells me that i just "go to bed" as she thinks and do the rest in my bed so she thinks im sleeping and won’t get mad. i don’t tell my teacher about my homework issues because he could care less. that kind of stuff doesn’t fly with him. he gives you detention, no matter what your excuse, if you don’t do your homework. this one kid said once "my grandfather was on his death-bed last night, so i couldn’t do it because i was at the hospital all night." (this was true by the way, not a lie to get out of detention) the teacher simply replied with "you could have done it at the hospital. detention." i feel this teacher is SOOOO unreasonable. (by the way, this is the teacher i have the skit for tomorrow)
what can i do about this problem?
Tags: acting, amount of homework, anxiety, class tomorrow, clock, economic issue, freak, hola, medication, mom, Panic Attacks, parents, skit, spanish class
