I’m having extreme difficulty in deciding whether I should go on the class field trip for my grade. I have been suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and have been seeing a psychiatrist for over a year now, and have been taking medication. I’ve seen a significant drop in my anxiety symptoms (panic attacks before school, irrational worrying, shaking, fast pulse, etc) but a field trip puts me in an awful position. The field trip will be for a few days, and I’ve been increasingly nervous about it for a variety of reasons. I’ve gone on the field trip last year, and I had friends yet still was incredibly miserable and ended up crying a couple times and wanting desperately to go home. It made me feel sick and only worsened my social anxiety (I hate being in large crowds, it makes me feel rejected and such since I don’t have many friends) Due to this, I’ve been feeling more and more nervous about this one. My old friends don’t go to the same school anymore and the friends I do have aren’t very close, and there will be multiple occasions that I probably will be separated from them. I’ve already had several breakdowns in the last few days because I simply can’t figure out if I should go or stay– if I stay home, I will feel like I’m isolating myself from kids, and the last thing I want is to draw attention to myself because I’m the only kid skipping the trip. However, if I do go, I’m scared of getting increasingly nervous and having panic attacks, as well as having kids get a bad impression of me because I’ll be sick and depressed. (I also have horrid car sickness, and we will be on a bus for three hours… I’ve thrown up from bus rides before) So this leaves me with an awful dilemma. I’m frightened to death of going, just because I despise being rejected and alone, and I really have tried to make friends but to no avail. I suppose at this point I’m too shy and different for kids to like me, I’m just not ‘popular’ material. I am a very studious person and would rather do well in school and become successful than waste my time socializing and getting into drugs and alcohol. But then again… I do care about how people perceive me. I don’t want my only friends to turn their back on me because I didn’t go. Will I be letting them down if I don’t go? I keep thinking they will hate me.

Anyway, I’ve been rambling too long. What I really need is for someone to give me advice on this, and please don’t say "You should go, it’s a great opportunity to make friends". I’m sorry but I’ve heard that one too many times and it just doesn’t work for me. So please, I need a real answer this time, and tell me what you think. I’d really appreciate it.

Thanks again!

Tags: Anxiety Symptoms, avail, breakdowns, bus rides, car sickness, class field trip, couple times, dilemma, extreme difficulty, few days, generalized anxiety disorder, large crowds, medication, occasions, old friends, Panic Attacks, psychiatrist, social anxiety, studious person