Im a Junior high school (gr 11) and I can say, that’s its been quite a ride so far. I’ve had a girlfriend last year a year older than me and well as a pretty good amount of good friends, most of which I’ve known for a while.
I know lots of people, and dont have much trouble finding people to hang with, although the past 2 years haven’t been all that great.

I have an anxiety disorder, which often times gives really bad panic attacks, and occational dissassociative symptons (really unfonfortable). Although as much as I’ve learned to deal with them, they still get in the way of trying new things, with different people, one of which is… the school football team.

Ever since the start of grade 10, I’ve been preparing to try out for grade 11, basically working out a good chuck of most days, and soon enough… I became, pretty damn jacked, (this had greatly helped me with dealing with my anxiety) Nothing wrong here, I got from about 160 to 185 pounds in a matter of months (doing cardio as well). And everybody realized how big i was getting and everybody started assuming that I’m gonna make the football team for sure.

I was quite confident throught grade 10 regarding this, that is untill the days of the tryouts… . I was soo anxoius that day, that my performance was pretty poor. I ended up going home half way through because i though there was something wrong with me, but it was just my anxiety causing physical symptoms (similar to a heart attack). And future tryouts werent much better… the anxiety affected my performance to the point where I had to make up an excuse that i had "poor cardio" instead of telling the truth of my anxiety (no body knows about it) Of course, no coach would want a really muscular guy, who "
"apparantly" has no cardio endurance. And i the end, I ended up not making the team.
This was a massive surprise to EVERYONE, and a Huuugee let down for me, and to some of my friends on the team who i worked out with.

It makes me wonder if I even wanted to play anyways in the first place, as a popularity thing… but as the tryouts progressed… I really started liking the sport.

Its gonna suck going to school in a couple of days, seeing everyone’s dissapointed looks…. and some of the people who are on the team who I arent as big or fast as me, and I dont mean that in a snobby way.

I really want to be on the team btw, if nto this year, then next *crossed fingers*

Please.. Help?

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Tags: Anxiety Disorder, cardio, coach, endurance, excuse, finding people, girlfriend, going home, good friends, heart attack, junior high school, muscular guy, occational, Panic Attacks, school football team, school gr, surprise, telling the truth