Background: Diagnosed with BPD and some other common problems that might come with (anxiety,etc). I refuse to go back on anti-psychotic/"anti-manic"s, but I have been having what I think are psychotic symptoms lately. When I first got placed in a psych hospital I was put on Anti-psychotics for hallucinations, but they subsided afterward and then after a few years i stopped taking them as they returned anyway.

: I have been having hallucinations again, similar to the old ones. Relating to ghosts, demons, and Satan. I have also been having panic attacks where the physical symptoms are strong and are very much tied to the hallucinations. Paranoia has always been there but lately it has become stronger than usual (paranoia prevents me from explaining further). I will add that the paranoia has somewhat disrupted my sleep as I have to sleep in different rooms of the house every night and it has brought back my insomnia(chronic) to an extent. Another problem is that I feel completely detached from my emotions. I know what emotions i should be feeling and in a sense i do. It is hard to explain, but it’s as though there are two people inside me, one feels the emotions and the other does not feel anything, completely logical. They SHOULD be connected but they are not, and I am not sure if this is because of my mood stabilizer or something else. And no I do not believe it to be another person, it is all me. My emotions and feelings are unable to be…felt. Lastly I can feel emotions on substances such as alcohol, but I am a sober addict and do not want to head down a path like that again.

If you read all that please tell me if my diagnosis could be wrong, as that would help persuade me to tell my psychiatrist. Or if you have taken mood stabilizers with a similar side-effect.

Real last note, I use medical terms when regarding my "issues" but in my mind I do not seem them as that, it is to make this as understandable as possible, thank you.

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Tags: addict, anti psychotics, anxiety, bpd, demons, diagnosis, emotions, extent, feelings, ghosts, hallucinations, insomnia, medical terms, mood stabilizer, mood stabilizers, Panic Attacks, paranoia, psychiatrist, psychotic symptoms, satan